


chat with me

by phoebehasproblems



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen, Memes, No Plot/Plotless, Texting, crack on crack, marinette is totally not ladybug what do you mean, messages, puns, sin - Freeform, this is Actually Trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-07-10 13:17:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 9,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6986653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoebehasproblems/pseuds/phoebehasproblems
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><br/>LadyWifi added ninohassickbeats, ladybugshitimeanmarinette and iLoveLadybug23 to the chat<br/><br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. orgins

**Author's Note:**

> its pretty easy to guess who is who

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where the chat came to be

[4:15pm]

 

_LadyWifi_ _added_ _ninohassickbeats_ _,_ _ladybugshitimeanmarinette_ _and_ _iLoveLadybug23_ _to the conversation_

 

LadyWifi: Hello my children

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: im not your fucking child

ninohassickbeats: marinette is angry fucking run

iLoveLadybug23: why

ninohassickbeats: last time she got mad at me i couldnt blink for three days

iLoveLadybug23: oh shit

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: im not mad

LadyWifi: and you don't love adrien 

iLoveLadybug23: what

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: ALYA

LadyWifi: lets face it, you want to birth his children

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: ALYA I SWEAR TO GOD

iLoveLadybug23: wait what

LadyWifi: she loves you

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: ALYA IM GOING TO RIP YOU EYES OUT 

LadyWifi: you don't mean that 

LadyWifi: marinette?

LadyWifi: someone send help i think she's coming to my house

ninohassickbeats: hell no I'm not getting in her way 

iLoveLadybug23: whats going on

LadyWifi: HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHES AT MY DOOR

LadyWifi: SEND BACK UP

 

_ninohassickbeats_ _added_ _art.hoe_ _to the conversation_

 

ninohassickbeats: I GOT BACKUP  


art.hoe: wtf is going on

iLoveLadybug23: i have no idea

art.hoe: adrien wtf is your username

iLoveLadybug23: the truth

art.hoe: oh god

LadyWifi: IS N O ONE COMONG OTO HELPME SHE IS ABO UT TO KNOC K DOWN MT DOOR

iLoveLadybug23: WAIT IS IT THAT BAD  


LadyWifi: YOU FUCKING FINALLY GOT IT 

art.hoe: i want to leave

ninohassickbeats: no one can leave the chat

 

_art.hoe_ _left the conversation_

 

ninohassickbeats: WTF NATHANAËL  


 

_ninohassickbeats_ _added_ _art.hoe_ _to the conversation_

 

ninohassickbeats: bitch ass fuck

LadyWifi: GOO DBYE IM ABOUTTO DIE

art.hoe: nice

ninohassickbeats: GOODBYE ALYA I LOVE YOU

LadyWifi: HOLY F UKING SHIT ITS CHA T NOIR 

art.hoe: no way

 

 _LadyWifi_ _sent a photo_ _ _

 

art.hoe: holy shit

ninohassickbeats: adrien are you seeing this

ninohassickbeats: adrien?


	2. the cries of alya césaire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one in which we are all alya

[9:23pm]

 

LadyWifi: 6 days

LadyWifi: 6 days since any of you fuckers texted on this chat

LadyWifi: Do you smell that? Take a good whiff 

LadyWifi: You know what that smell is

LadyWifi: Disappointment

LadyWifi: As your mother, words cannot express how disappointed i am in you

LadyWifi: First i go through the ever traumatic experience of being _akumatised_ , and ladybug and chat noir don't even _bother_ giving me an interview

iLoveLadybug23: did someone say ladybug

LadyWifi: ADRIEN NOT NOW IM RANTING

LadyWifi: And then i go through watching this chat become deserted

LadyWifi: Abandoned

LadyWifi: Lost in the world

LadyWifi: Another failure 

LadyWifi: Might as well give up on all my dreams

LadyWifi: What do they mean anymore?

LadyWifi: How can i become a professional journalist if i cant even keep a group chat going

LadyWifi: This is the end of me

LadyWifi: My dreams got destroyed before they even began

 

_iLoveLadybug23, ninohassickbeats, art.hoe_ _and_ _ladybugshitimeanmarinette_ _have seen this_

 

LadyWifi: …

LadyWifi: …

LadyWifi: …

LadyWifi: ARE YOU KIDDING ME


	3. fight club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where everyone fights tomato boy (and everyone is oblivious)

[9:54pm]

 

art.hoe: alya you done with ur temper tanty yet

LadyWifi: first of all okay rude

LadyWifi: and yes

art.hoe: ok thank the lord i thought it would never end

LadyWifi: WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

LadyWifi: NATHANAEL DONT BE FUCKING RUDE

LadyWifi: NINO WHERE TF ARE YOU!?!? YOU ARE MY BOYFRIEND COME BACK ME UP

art.hoe: jfc calm down

LadyWifi: I WILL FIGHT YOU 

ninohassickbeats: alya wtf

LadyWifi: dont you _dare_ wtf me

ladybugshitimeanmarinett: shit she's typing in all lowercase 

iLoveLadybug23: what does that mean

ninohassickbeats: it means FUCKING RUN SORRY NATH YOU ARE DEA LING WITH THIS ON UR OWN BUDDY

 

ninohassickbeats has left the chat

 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: sorry gtg save paris cause I'm actually ladybug 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: shit i mean do homework lmao autocorrect

 

_ladybugshitimarinette_ _has left the chat_

 

iLoveLadybug23: i dont feel safe

 

_iLoveLadybug23_ _has left the chat_

 

art.hoe: alya calm down ur gonna get akumatised 

LadyWifi: shit you rite 

LadyWifi: wait didn't nino say before that no one leaves the chat

art.hoe: yeah?

LadyWifi: that fucking hypocrite left the chat 

art.hoe: alya deep breaths

LadyWifi: im gonna shove his headphones so far up his ass it'll come alive with the sounds of music

art.hoe: kinky 

LadyWifi: nat pls

art.hoe: OMG NAT  


LadyWifi: *NATH*NATH*NATH 

_art.hoe_ _has change his name to_ _nat_

LadyWifi: OMG IM DYING  


nat: bonjour je m'appelle nat

LadyWifi: omg everyone needs to see this

 

_LadyWifi_ _has added_ _ninohassickbeats, ladybugshitimeanmarinette_ _and_ _iLoveLadybug23_ _to the chat_

 

ninohassickbeats: what did i miss

nat: everything 

ladybugshitimeamarinette: who tf is nat

 

_LadyWifi_ _took a screenshot_

 

_LadyWifi_ _sent a photo_

 

iLoveLadybug23: omg nat

nat: wait adrien why is your name iloveladybug

iLoveLadybug23: bc its the truth

ninohassickbeats: bc fanboy here has a massive crush on the fine lady

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: wait you like me

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: ****ladybug lmao autocorrect amirite 

LadyWifi: lmao bout to say 

ninohassickbeats: wouldn't it be funny if ladybug was in this chat

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: hahah ha aha thatll be funny hahaha ha ah e

iLoveLadybug: that'll be so dope

LadyWifi: i would cry

nat: doesnt anyone think that ladybug is overrated 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: bitch tf

iLoveLadybug23: fucking FIGHT ME

LadyWifi: NAT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO SHOVE YOUR PAINT BRUSHES DOWN UR TH OAT

nat: NO WAIT NOT MY PAINTBRUSHES THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO UNDERSTAND ME

LadyWifi: WELL THEY BOUT TO UNDERSTAND YOU FROM THE INSIDE  
ninohassickbeats: I'm not even gonna bother to stop her this time you had it coming

nat: IM JUST TYRING TO VOIC E MY OIPINON 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: your opinion sucks ass

iLoveLadybug23: wait mari i didn't know you liked ladybug

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: just tryna defend myself 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: shit i mean ***ladybug ha ha ah ahaha

LadyWifi: lmao bout to say 


	4. everyone is oblivious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where everyone is a bunch of dumb dumbs

[10:57pm]

 

LadyWifi: Nino???

LadyWifi: NINO!!

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: alya what are you doing 

 

_LadyWifi_ _removed_ _ninohassickbeats_ _from the conversation_

 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: ALYA 

LadyWifi: ADRIEN

iLoveLadybug23: whats up

iLoveLadybug23: woah whats going on

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: i would like to know too

LadyWifi: i know who ladybug is 

iLoveLadybug23: wait what

LadyWifi: i know who she is

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: no you don't

LadyWifi: yes i do

LadyWifi: you know who he is?

iLoveLadybug23: WHO!!

LadyWifi: you guys aren't gonna believe this 

LadyWifi: but

 

_ladybugshitimeanmarinette_ _removed_ _LadyWifi_ _from the conversation_

 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: whoops

iLoveLadybug23: thats alright 

 

_iLoveLadybug23_ _added_ _LadyWifi_ _to the conversation_

 

LadyWifi: mari i know your excited but control urself 

LadyWifi: anyway, ladybug is totally nino!!

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: shit u rite

iLoveLadybug23: …. no way 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: yep its nino gtg bye

iLoveLadybug23: no wait it cant be nino

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: damn so close

iLoveLadybug23: bc nino got akumatised!!

LadyWifi: fuck how did i miss that

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: guys its nino ur so blind 

LadyWifi: marinette you heard adrien it cant be

LadyWifi: then who is it…

iLoveLadybug23: maybe she's closer than we think?

iLoveLadybug23: its gotta be so obvious 

iLoveLadybug23: i just need a something to point me in the right direction

LadyWifi: ill try and find a slip up, something small like a typo or something 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: lmao but you don't have her on messages 

LadyWifi: you got me there 

LadyWifi: so if it isn't nino its gotta be someone close to him right?

iLoveLadybug23: wait why?

LadyWifi: bc nino (beside from the bubbler) has never been seen next to ladybug 

LadyWifi: and who does nino hang out with?

LadyWifi: I've got it!

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: no you don't 

LadyWifi: yes i do!

LadyWifi: agh it was so obvious 

LadyWifi: they've never been seen next to ladybug

LadyWifi: always disappears when ladybug arrives 

LadyWifi: appears again when she's gone 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: woah hold up lets not jump to conclusions 

LadyWifi: no I'm right this time

LadyWifi: ladybug is ADRIEN!

iLoveLadybug23: wait what

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: shit u rite 

iLoveLadybug23: nononono its not me

LadyWifi: prove it

iLoveLadybug23: i took a selfie with her without her knowing 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: wait what 

 

_iLoveLadybug23_ _sent a photo_

 

LadyWifi: agh damn i was so close

LadyWifi: i need more help wheres nino and nathanael 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: you removed nino bc you thought he was ladybug 

LadyWifi: oh right

 

_LadyWifi_ _added_ _ninohassickbeats_ _to the conversation_

 

ninohassickbeats: alya wtf

LadyWifi: nino shut up I'm so close to finding out who ladybug is

ninohassickbeats: who do you think it is

LadyWifi: well all my suspects have been crossed off the list 

 

_LadyWifi_ _took a screenshot of the conversation_

 

_LadyWifi_ _sent a photo_

 

ninohassickbeats: damn 

LadyWifi: but all except one 

iLoveLadybug23: WHO!!!!!  


LadyWifi: someone in this very chat

ninohassickbeats: again

LadyWifi: no its different this time

LadyWifi: nath you've been awfully quite 

nat: im not ladybug 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: no wait yes his is!!!  


nat: I'm not

LadyWifi: prove it

nat: evillustrator remember 

LadyWifi: damn

iLoveLadybug23: damn

ninohassickbeats: damn

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: oh well guess we’ll never find out who ladybug is what a shame 

LadyWifi: ugh ill find out next time

ninohadsickbeats: sure alya

LadyWifi: I've got an idea!

LadyWifi: maybe its marinette!!

iLoveLadybug23: OMG  


ladybugshitimeanmarinette: uhhhhh no its not

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: umm i got uhh

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: turned into that mummy once!!

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: yeah thats a thing that happened!

LadyWifi: shit u rite ur not ladybug

LadyWifi: but then who is????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *spoopy conspiracy music*  
> you can leave requests for ideas in my ask on my tumblr account http://phoebehasproblems.tumblr.com/  
> that is all  
> xoxoxoxooxox- phoebe


	5. rip the innocence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where the where i had enough of writing them innocently

ninohasssickbeats: merry christmas

iLoveLadybug23: kiss my ass

LadyWifi: ADRIEN SUCH LANGUAGE

 iLoveLadybug23: NO WAIT ITS A SONG

 iLoveLadybug23: ITS A SONG I SWEAR

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: its not even christmas

ninohassickbeats: marinette marinette, when will you realise its not about the actual date, but who you're with that makes it christmas

iLoveLadybug23: woah thats deep

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: no its about the actual date

 

[ninohassickhassickbeats changed the group name to merry christmas suck my ass marinette]

 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: that doesnt even make any fucking sense you ballsack

LadyWifi: marinette what happened to your innocence

art.hoe: we've all lost our innocence since joining this hell hole

ninohassickbeats: okay 1) where tf did you come from 2) rude and 3)

 

[ninohassickbeats change the chat name to hell hole™]

 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: ur face is a hell hole

ninohassickbeats: fuck you

iLoveLadybug23: MY INNOCENCE

art.hoe: drop the act banana boy you're the most kinky one here

 

[iLoveLadybug23 has changed their name to banana boy]

 

banana boy: shit u rite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the bold and italics went away with the fucks i give


	6. nihoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where its 2:30am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello yes i am back yes i am still trash i was just on a The Hiatus™ breakdown for a few days

[2:32am] _(look at me i added times)_

 

ninohassickbeats: bonjour bitches does anyone wanna give me some homework answers

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: shut up nihoe I've been awake on pure adrenaline trying to finish mine I'm not giving you the answers

 

[ninohassickbeats changed their name to nihoe]

 

nihoe: tsk tsk marinette you should be asleep

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: fucking hypocrite

nihoe: okay but i have an excuse to be awake

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: SO DO I

nihoe: homework is not an excuse

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THEN HMMM

 nihoe: pokemon go

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: pokemon go kill yourself

nihoe: pokemon go take that back

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: pokemon go do ur own homework

nihoe: rude

nihoe: nathanael wouldn't treat me like this

art.hoe: fuck we’re not going to be matching with hoe usernames

[art.hoe changed their name to iwanttoleave]

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: ha

nihoe: fuck you all

nihoe: alya wouldn't treat me like this

LadyWifi: tf is this bullshit nihoe i want to sleep

iwanttoleave: ha

nihoe: um… adrien wouldn't treat me like this????

bananaboy: uawIHiu fuc k you yugihojok’

nihoe: brb drinking bleach


	7. GabrielAgREKT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where wtf is happening

[6:02pm]

 

LadyWifi: eeyo bitches party at mine at 7

bananaboy: okay 1) a party isn't a party with five people and 2) wow thanks for the hour notice

LadyWifi: IM TRYING TO DO SOMETHING NICE YOU USELESS EGGWHIT

 

[bananaboy has changed their name to eggwhit]

 

eggwhit: my feelings are hurt I'm not coming anymore 

nihoe: :(((((((((

LadyWifi: ADRIEN  


eggwhit: nah my dad isn't letting me, gotta keep up that good boy rep

nihoe: im gonna add him to this chat so he can see ur “good boy rep”

eggwhit: lmao

eggwhit: wait you're kidding right

 

[nihoe has added GabrielAgreste to the chat]

 

GabrielAgreste: my used underwear is worth 10x more than this group chat

nihoe: …

nihoe: mr agreste!!!

GabrielAgreste: who is everyone in this shitbag 

 

[LadyWifi has changed the chat name to the shitbag]

 

eggwhit: im not adrien agreste

nihoe: smooth

LadyWifi: seems legit

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: i have awoken 

GabrielAgreste: awoken into something horrific if you ask me

 

[GabrielAgreste has changed their name to GabrielAgREKT]

 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: WHAT IS HAPPENING

LadyWifi: I DONT KNOW

nihoe: what have i done

eggwhit: SOMEONE FIX THIS

GabrielAgREKT: fix what? your personality? bc its beyond repair

eggwhit: MY OWN FATHER

eggwhit: i mean

eggwhit: shit

GabrielAgREKT: ADRIEN  


ladybugshitimeanmarinette: well i hate to ruin this moment but

 

[ladybugshitimeanmarinette has removed GabrielAgREKT from the chat

 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: EVERYONE RUN TO ALYAS 

eggwhit: SHIT HES CHASING ME  


nihoe: ADRIEN DONT DIE PLS

eggwhit: IM TGRYING NOT DTO

LadyWifi: THE DOOR IS OPEN HURRY 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: WE DID IT THANK THE LORD

eggwhit: i think i aged 50 years from that experience

nihoe: im never adding ur dad on this chat again

 

 

iwanttoleave: yo what did i miss


	8. a/n

hey guys,

 

just letting you know you can request stuff you want to see in **this story** either

a) on my tumbr ask (which would be prefered): http://phoebehasproblems.tumblr.com/ask

or

b) in the comments if you dont have a tumblr

 

thanks!!  
- ~~phoebe~~


	9. eggwhit the eggshit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where its a mess(™)

[12:42am]

 

LadyWifi: this chat needs more people

LadyWifi: something to spice it up a bit

eggwhit: alya pls what are you doing

LadyWifi: im gonna add some people

iwanttoleave: oh god

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: why do i feel sacred 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: ********SCARED

nihoe: SACRED OMG  


eggwhit: mari ur such a sacred person. how do you do it????

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: i smoke the holy waters everyday

LadyWifi: mari pls

eggwhit: wait alya who are you adding

LadyWifi: well, nothing much has been happening on the adrienette ship so we’re gonna make it sail

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: ALYA

eggwhit: whats an adrienette 

LadyWifi: adrien we’re eight chapters into this fic you should know about your ship already

eggwhit: fic??? 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: um what?  


nihoe: alya tf did you just write

LadyWifi: honestly no idea

eggwhit: no eyed deer 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: adrien i will remove you

LadyWifi: :^)

iwanttoleave: WHY DOES HE GET TO LEAVE  


nihoe: ALYA ARE YOU GOING TO ADD THE PEOPLE OR WHAT THIS IS GETTING OUT OF TOPIC  


LadyWifi: oh right 

 

[LadyWifi added QueenBeeChloexoxoxo and Lila<3 to the chat]

 

[ladybugshitimeanmarinette has left the chat]

 

[iwanttoleave has added ladybugshitimeanmarinette to the chat]

 

iwanttoleave: if i cant leave then no one can

QueenBeeChloexoxoxo: what is this monstrosity 

 

[nihoe has changed the chat to The Monstrosity Gang™]

 

LadyWifi: wow i didn’t know she knew a word that big

QueenBeeChloexoxoxo: alya?

LadyWifi: the one and only

QueenBeeChloexoxoxo: listen here you soggy pack of crayons, who do you think you are adding me to this stupid chat

nihoe: soggy pack of crayons 

eggwhit: same

QueenBeeCholexoxoxo: okay obiviosly im not stupid so i know nihoe is that rat nino

nihoe: obiviosly 

QueenBeeChloexoxoxo: so who the fuck is eggwhit

eggwhit: um

eggwhit: luigi 

 

[eggwhit has removed QueenBeeCholexoxoxo from the chat]

 

LadyWifi: ADRIEN  


eggwhit: I PANICKED

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: panic! at the monstrosity

 

[nihoe changed the chat name to: panic! at the monstrosity]

 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: this is a mess

nihoe: the mess

LadyWifi: the mess™

eggwhit: the shit™

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: eggwhit the eggshit

 

[eggwhit has changed their name to eggshit]

 

eggshit: aww now we have matching ‘shit’ names

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: aww

nihoe: its happening 

LadyWifi: ASDTYUIOPJIOHUGF&D^S%E

lila<3: adrien, is that you xoxoxoxoxo

eggshit: shit

LadyWifi: not now lila my otp is sailing 

 

[LadyWifi has removed lila<3 from the chat]

 

nihoe: i thought ladynoir is your otp?

LadyWifi: it still is

eggshit: ladynoir?

LadyWifi: ladybug and chat noir

eggshit: ohhh

eggshit: i ship it

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: -_-


	10. kinky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where they get caught texting in school

 

[9:03am]

 

nihoe: this lesson is so boringgg

LadyWifi: i would rather shove knives in my ears than listen to ms mendeleiev talk anymore

eggshit: shut up ur gonna get me in trouble 

LadyWifi: oh right, your ‘good boy rep”

nihoe: i want to ruin that rep

LadyWifi: :^)

nihoe: what

nihoe: NO WAIT I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT  


iwanttoleave: why is this chat so kinky i s2g

iwanttoleave: why me

LadyWifi: im

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: what happened i came in late

nihoe: nath got sent to the principal for texting

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: o

iwanttoleave: i dont understand 

iwanttoleave: you were all texting and she only called me

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: ha she hates you

iwanttoleave: she hates you too

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: no she doesnt 

LadyWifi: ‘ms dupain-cheng join nathanael in the principals office, i said NO TEXTING IN MY CLASSROOM”

LadyWifi: yes marinette she doesnt hate you at all

 


	11. detention convention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where they all get detention

[9:35am]

 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: uuuuuuuugggggghhhhh

LadyWifi: ha what happened 

iwanttoleave: after school detention for three days 

eggshit: i want to join

nihoe: I CANNOT BELIEVE

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: WHY DO I SEE ADRIEN RUNNING DOWN THE HALL

LadyWifi: HE THREW HIS CHAIR OVER THE DESK 

iwanttoleave: how tf

eggshit: i wanted to join

eggshit: heyo detention gang

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: never say gang again

eggshit: detention buddies

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: pls stop

eggshit: detention convention 

iwanttoleave: honourable mention to the detention convention 

nihoe: brb im joining 

LadyWifi: NINO YOU FUCKWHIT

eggshit: what did he do

LadyWifi: pushed me off my chair to get detention 

nihoe: it worked

eggshit: alya join our detention convention 

nihoe: ha she already has

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: omg how

LadyWifi: apparently yelling out fuckwhit isn't acceptable 

eggshit: NO PREVENTION TO GET INTO THE DETENTION CONVENTION 

iwanttoleave: this was a mistake

 


	12. idek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where im giving up on chapter summaries ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

[3:37pm]

 

nihoe: um wtf why isn't the teacher here??

LadyWifi: nino where are you

nihoe: english 7

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: …

eggshit: its in maths 2

nihoe: wtf why did no one tell me

LadyWifi: WE DID  


eggshit: shitttttttt

nihoe: what happened

nihoe: ????

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: the teacher made detention an extra day for texting again

nihoe: haahahahha

LadyWifi: nino shut up she said you got an extra day for being late

nihoe: hnnnnnngggggg

eggshit: well done everyone, she added an extra EXTRA day for still texting 

nihoe: texting is such a stupid way to get detention

nihoe: lets get creative

LadyWifi: niNO  


 

[ nihoe has changed their name to niYES]

 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: im leaving

niYes: marinette you cant just leave

niYEs: marinette sit down

niYES: adrien dont follow her she's a bad influence 

niYES: ADRIEN

LadyWifi: nihoe shut up my ship is happening 

niYES: ur ship just made our detention a week long 

LadyWifi: its worth ittttt

NiYES: i wonder what they're doing 

 

[LadyWifi has changed their name to ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

 

iwanttoleave: i dont want to be stuck in the same room with you people anymore

  



	13. cry me a river

 

[3:59pm]

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): its been like 20 minutes how has the teacher not noticed that adrienette left 

niYES: i swear she's asleep

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): poke her

niYES: no thanks

iwanttoleave: i will

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): yes nat

iwanttoleave: for 5 bucks

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): no nat

iwanttoleave: then who's gonna poke her

eggshit: i will

niYES: UR NOT EVEN HERE  


ladybugshitimeanmarinette: wait 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): what does that mean and why i am i scared 

iwanttoleave: WHAT EVEN  


niYES: I CANNOT BELIEVE  


( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): 1) how did you two come in through the window WE”RE ON THE SECOND STORY

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): 2) WHY ARE YOU PLAYING CRY ME A RIVER

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): i wanted my ship to sail but not like this

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): not like this

iwanttoleave: i have 6 more days of this bullshit 

eggshit: the bullshit

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: the bullshit™

 

[niYES has changed the chat to the bullshit™]

 

[iwanttoleave has left the chat]

 

[niYES has added iwanttoleave to the chat]

 

iwanttoleave: stop trying to leave nat rat

 

[iwanttoleave has changed their name to NatRat]

 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: why does that sound like a pokemon

niYES: oh no

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: what

eggshit: POKEMON

eggshit: gotta catch them all

eggshit: its you and me

eggshit: i know its my destiny

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): adrien pls

NatRat: i think the teachers waking up turn off the music

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: im not turning off justin timberlake thank you very much   


NatRat: thank you marinette, for giving us three more days of this hell hole

niYES: when do we get to leave

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): 4:30

niYES: what time is it now

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: nino your phone has the time on it

niYES: oh right

niYES: wtf we’ve still got 20 minutes of this

NatRat: we've still got 9 more days of this

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): im blaming nat

NatRat: WHY ME

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): if you didn't get the first detention this wouldn't have happened

NatRat: if you didn't create this chat this wouldn't have happened 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): touche

 


	14. 4:30am

~~~~

[4:19am]

 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: why when we spell fridge the d is there but it disappears in refrigerator

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: how come our nose runs but our feet smell

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: why is it called a building if its already built

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: why do we park on driveways but drive on parkways

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: why is delivery by car called shipment but delivery by ship called cargo

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: when you think about it, the brain named itself

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: who knew what time it was when the first clock was made

eggshit: i didn't need this right now

eggshit: why are you still awake

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: saving paris from an akuma 

eggshit: same

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: shit no wait um i mean homework

eggshit: aahahha thats what i meant by same obviously ha haha

eggshit: i wonder what ladybug is doing right now

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: screaming 

eggshit: what

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: **********sleeping 

eggshit: makes sense 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: woah its already 4:30am

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: good thing its the weekend now

eggshit: mari

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: what

eggshit: its friday

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: brb throwing myself into the sun

 


	15. Chapter 15

 

[9:31am]

 

niYES: yo wheres marinette

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): probs sleeping 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): did adrien fall asleep

niYES: ew yes he's drooling 

 

[niYES sent a photo to the chat]

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ahahaha ew

niYES: what tf were they doing up anyway 

niYES: no offence but homework didn't seem like a good excuse 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ikr and we didn't even have any homework

niYES: something seems fishy 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): very fishy

niYES: nat what do you think 

NatRat:i want to leave this chat 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): i s2g 


	16. totally not chat noir and ladybug

 

[2:32am]

 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: lmao kill myself

niYES: what happened this time

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: no one told me about the science test 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: I've been asleep every lesson

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: i knew nothing 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: the only think i answered was my name

eggshit: lmao sucks for you

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: fight me egghole

 

[eggshit changed their name to egghole]

 

niYES: whats an egghole

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: a hole for an egg

egghole: anything is a dildo if you try hard enough

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): i s2g 

niYES: when did you two get so close anyway???

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): mmhm i would also like to know

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: um

egghole: well

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: oh hey alya did you see the new akuma fight

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): OMG YES I DID!! DID YOU SEE CHAT NOIR AND LADYBUG THEY HAVE GOTTEN SO MUCH CLOSER OMFTUYGIHLIJ:K”

egghole: finally amirite

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): wait

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: what

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): they've kinda been acting like

egghole: like what

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): LIKE YOU TWO

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: well shit

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: i mean no they haven't 

niYES: actually they kinda have

egghole: i dont know what you mean

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): are you two not telling us something 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: yes

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): i

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): i wasn't expecting a straight forward answer

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): what is it then

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: well um

egghole: we’re not chat noir and ladybug

niYES: makes sense 

  



	17. shitnoir

 

[3:39pm]

 

niYES: umm okay so i know I'm not in the wrong class this time since your all here so

niYES: where is the detention teacher person????  


egghole: “detention teacher person”

niYES: shut it egg face

 

[egghole has changed their name to eggface]

 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: i liked egghole better 

 

[eggface has changed their name to egghole]

 

niYES: CAN SOMEONE ANSWER MY QUESTYUION

egghole: “questyuion”

niYES: adrien next time you point out my typos i destroy you

egghole: oh shit, looks like I'm now walking on

egghole: egg shells

 

[ladybugshitimeanmarinette has removed egghole from the chat]

 

[niYES has added egghole to the chat]

 

egghole: wow my lady, rude

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): MY LADY 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: shut it chaton

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): CHATON

niYES: CAN SOMEONE PLS ANSWER MY QUESTION  


NatRat: no

niYES: aweerstdyfugihojpchfmgug,,jb.b,

egghole: hey guys the teacher is missing 

niYES: im

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: you know what that means 

egghole: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): MY GOD

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): MARINETTE THIS IS NOT WHAT I THOUGHT ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) MEANT PLS TURN OFF JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: we've got a free classroom we can do whatever we want

niYES: what is this, year 3

egghole: yes.

niYES: well okay 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): MARINETTE PLS TURN OFF CRY ME A RIVER I WILL THROW UR PHONE OUT THE WINDOW  


ladybugshitmeanmarinette: no pls

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): im serious 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: if you let me keep it on ill give you something???  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): depends what it is

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: chat noir’s number

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): WHAT

egghole: WHAT

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): you can play cry me a river forever gimme gimme gimme

egghole: i dont think thats a good idea

 

[ladybugshitimeanmarinette removed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), niYES and NatRat from the chat]

  

ladybugshitimeanmarientte: its fine ill give the number to your other phone 

egghole: oh right i forgot i had more phones lmao

 

[ladybugshitimeanmarinette added ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), niYES and NatRat to the chat]

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): wtf mari

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: soz it glitched 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): well

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: well what

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): THE NUMBER  


ladybugshitimeanmarinette: oh right

 

[ladybugshitimeanmarinette added shitnoir to the chat]

 

shitnoir: i would do my salut but i cant really do that over messages lmao

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school started again so i probably wont be posting as much, sorry. ill try my best tho


	18. marinetteshitimeanladybug

 

[3:16am]

 

niYES: shit noir??

shitnoir: catchy amirite

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: no not really

shitnoir: hey, I've got an idea

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: no you don't

shitnoir: im gonna add someone

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: we don't need anymore people on this chat right alya 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): W̡̨͍̞̯ͬͦͤ̍̽͑̌͠E̼̠̪̩̯͈̩̖̳̣̣͛͋ͧͭͪ̐̚ͅH̡͇͓̓̈́͛ͨ̏͛ͯŲ͔̙̳͇͔̺͓̲͚̐̇ͯ̃́̈NǦ̵̹̜̪̪̖̫̌ͨ̂̇͂ͬȨ̶̥̻̱̦̤̥̬̬͕ͩͪͤͧ̇͗̿R̵̢̘̘̩̠̜̭̭̯̅ͩ͂͆̉̅̎ͩ͜ͅ ̛̖͎̞̎̂̐͊̿̑ͣ͊̐͜͟F̵̹͈̯̘̣̀̽Ô̲̯͇̪̰̼͕̬͒ͣͪ̎͜R͓͚̱͔͌̍̔͐̓̈̚̕͜ͅ ̺̥͙͐́͟ͅN̲̹̘̤̱̅̊ͨ̀͝E̸̺͉̦̼͇̜͑ͯͭ̀W͈̳͉̘͈͓̅̃͘ ̸̣̜͙͉̀̊ͤ̐͐ͫͣ́͝B̵̨͇͍̟͎̞̦̝̄̎̌L̶̠̲̗̙ͥͮ̚Ŏ̊̋ͬ̉͡͏̞̥̤̫̱̪̝̮O̧̳͇͎͊̆ͭ͗̎ͤD̴̯͔̳̘̘̪̼ͨ̓̆͜ͅ 

 niYES: wtf

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): add ladybug

shitnoir: on it

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: im screaming

 

[shitnoir added marinetteshitimeanladybug to the chat]

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ytuyiuoipo[kpjhugiyfutdc

marinetteshitimeanladybug: im leaving

shitnoir: what no

 

[marinetteshitimeanladybug left the chat]

 

[shitnoir added marinetteshitimeanladybug to the chat]

 

NatRat: you can leave all you want, but they always find a way to add you back

NatRat: always

shitnoir: now that we are all here, i have something to announce

marinetteshitimeanladybug: what

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): tell me tell me

shitnoir: ladybug and i

shitnoir: are indeed 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): im screeching 

shitnoir: best friends

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): im screaming 

niYES: whats going on i left for half a minute 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: oh hey adrien hasn't been talking i wonder why 

shitnoir: i wonder?? who is adrien?? adrien agreste you mean?? what a cool guy.so cool

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: ???????????

shitnoir: the coolest 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): chat noir do you have a crush on adrien??

shitnoir: um

shitnoir: yes

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: unbelievable 

niYES: where did ladybug go??

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: im here

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: shit i mean

marinetteshitimeanladybug: im here

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): lol k

 

 


	19. #chloenette

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda long chapter to make up for not posting as much

 

 

[2:23am]

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): I've got an idea

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: alya its like 2;30 go to sleep

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): shut up blueberry 

 

[ladybugshitimeanmarinette changed their name to blueberry]

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): anyway

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): my idea is that we should add chloe back 

blueberry: wtf no i hate her so much she is so rude i want to throw her into the sun she looks so stupid and tacky like who tf wears yellow and stripes like ??? girl u tryna foreshadow something??u look like a bee more like a bee tch heyo and don't get me started on her eyeshadow bitch ur not 5 anymore invest in some good colours that pastel lipstick makes you look like u have a disease or something boi tf do you think ur doing

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): girl you have some repressing issues 

blueberry: pls dont add her

niYES: i think its a p good idea

blueberry: shut up u tree branch you're not helping 

niYES: wow rude 

niYES: alya add chloe and ill give u 10 bucks

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): hell yeah gimme that right now baby

egghole: that was oddly sexual 

blueberry: well her name _is_ the booty face 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

blueberry: alya pls

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

egghole: i feel attacked 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉)

niYES: ARE YOU GONNA ADD CHLOE OR NOT

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) : oh right

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) added QueenBeeChloexoxoxo to the chat]

 

blueberry: there we go with the fucking bees again thomas u aint slick I'm onto you buddy u better watch ur back pal

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ?????  


niYES: chloe u gon say something or u gonna be lurking the whole time

QueenBeeChloexoxoxo: shut the fuck up treebranch 

niYES: WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING ME THAT I DONT LOOK LIKE A TREE BRANCH 

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) sent an image to the chat: 

]

 

niYES: WTF

 

[niYES changed their name to treebranch]

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): hey chole guess who's in this chat

QueenBeeCholexoxoxo: ugh who

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): l

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): a

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): d

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): y

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): b

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): u

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): g

QueenBeeCholexoxoxo: WTGDHNBVCRTXCYTUVYIBOINPML”NBUIYV

QueenBeeCholexoxoxo: UR KIDDING RIGHT

QueenBeeCholexoxoxo: ALYA U BETTER NOT BE KIDDING

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): wait how do you know its me

QueenBeeCholexoxoxo: im not stupid 

blueberry: some would object (me)

QueenBeeCholexoxoxo: i will sue u 

blueberry: bitch ild like to see u try

QueenBeeCholexoxoxo: is ladybug in this chat or not i need answers make it snappy 

blueberry: u know what

marinetteshitimeanladybug: fuck u 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): omg what

marinetteshitimeanladybug: im not taking any off ur shit chloe

QueenBeeChloexoxoxo: well idek if thats even the real ladybug

 

[marinetteshitimeanladybug changed their name to TheRealLadybug™]

 

TheRealLadyBug™: im legit 

QueenBeeChloexoxoxo: prove it

TheRealLadybug™: bitch tf you want me to do??  


QueenBeeChloexoxoxo: come to my house

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) 

treebranch: ALYA STOP SHIPPING LADYBUG AND CHLOE 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): too late 

shitnoir: what bout me :*((((((

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): suck my dick banana boi

shitnoir: brb going to beat ur ass

blueberry: ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉)

shitnoir: MARI HOW DARE YOU  


NatRat: “MARI”

NatRat: NICKNAME DETECTED

blueberry: you come back from the dead and this is the shit u pull out off ur ass

NatRat: #marichat

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): i ship it

treebranch: what about chloe and ladybug

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): tbh im all about #chlonette now

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): otp 

QueenBeeChloexoxoxo: tf does otp mean 

blueberry: IT MEANS NOTHING”

treebranch: so we’re just shipping marinette with everyone now??

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): not everyone 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): just adrien chat noir and chloe 

QueenBeeChloexoxoxo: tf is shipping 

blueberry: ITS NOTHING 

NatRat: #chlonette

treebranch: #chlonette

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): #chlonette

egghole: #chlonette

blueberry: im screaming


	20. luigi

[4:20am]

blueberry: blaze it  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): you don't even do drugs  
blueberry: excuse you i smoke all the marijuanas everyday  
egghole: #MARIjuana

[blueberry changed their name to MARIjuana]

MARIjuana: blaze it  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): u two are literal children  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): more fuel to my ship amirite ladies  
NatRat: rite  
niYES: rite  
MARIjuana: wtf  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): shhhh marinette just accept it  
egghole: *MARIjuana  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): shut up adrine  
egghole: *adriennnnnnn  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): piss off adriana  
egghole: im crying  
QueenBeeChloexoxoxo: wait egghole is adrien???!  
egghole: um  
egghole: luigi  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): THAT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE ADELINE  
QueenBeeChloexoxoxo: whatever I'm over my crush with him  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): we all know who ur crushing on now  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉)  
QueenBeeChloexoxoxo: what  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉)  
niYES: hey marinette why haven't you been talking lately hmmm????  
MARIjuana: um  
MARIjuana: luigi  
egghole: copy cat  
egghole: copy chat  
egghole: hahaha get it because I'm ch  
egghole: um  
MARIjuana: you're what adrien???  
egghole: um  
egghole: luigi  
niYES: WTF IS UP WITH U GUYS AND LUIGI  
niYES: if you answer with um luigi i will delete you  
MARIjuana: um  
egghole: mario

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek what this was bare with me guys


	21. adventure planning

 

 

[7:23am]

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): heyo anyone wanna go on an adventure 

QueenBeeChloexoxo: not with you 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): u are rude and disrespectful and i have no idea why i added you to this chat

NatRat: for more #chlonette bants

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): rite lol

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): anyway we’re are all going on an adventure i stole my mums car (a/n just incase ur wondering they're aged up to around 17, anyway enough of me breaking the fourth wall…)

MARIjuana: wait what

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): im coming to pick you all up now

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): bring food and overnight stuff

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): I've got this all planned out 

egghole: im scared 

 

[egghole changed their name to eggscared]

 

MARIjuana: that doesnt even make sense 

eggscared: yes it does shut up

treebranch: sorry buddy gotta agree with mari on this one

eggscared: *MARIjuana

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): LET IT GO ADRIONIY

eggscared: MY NAME ISNT ADRIONIY 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): I DONT CARE AEROPLANE SHUT TF UP AND LET ME FINISH SAYING MY PLAN

QueenBeeChloexoxo: i dont want to come

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): chloe i s2g 

NatRat: ye im with chloe on this do i have to come

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): EVERYONE IS COMING IT WILL BE LIKE A TEAM BONDING EXERCISE

NatRat: but we have the detention convention 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): shush and let me say my plan

MARIjuana: you're never gonna be able to say ur plan

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): tf you mean by that

MARIjuana: its a group chat

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): WELL THIS ISNT JUST ANY GROUP CHAT THIS IS THE 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): the

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): what are we called again

eggscared: this sin tin

treebranch: Sin Tin™

 

[eggscared changed the chat name to Sin Tin™]

 

MARIjuana: i thought it was called the Hell Hole™

 

[eggscared changed the chat name to Hell Hole™]

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LET ME SAY MY PLAN

treebranch: we have all shutted up say ur plan

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): my plan is that i don't have a plan and we’re just gonna go with the flow lmao I'm picking you all up now 

MARIjuana: we’re gonna die 

QueenBeeChloexoxo: rip

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo i updated. im not procrastinating school work. no, not at all.  
> my tumblr is phoebehasproblems if you wanna request anything you wanna see in this story.  
> that is all  
> peace,  
> p[hoe]be


	22. omeletting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heyo im back from the dead and shitted this out of my ass

 

[8:34am]

 

NatRat: how do you jump out of a moving car without dying I'm asking for a friend 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): shut up ratta tootie

NatRat: i am offended 

eggscared: ALYA STOP TEXTING YOURE MEANT TO BE DRIVInG FUcKING EyeS oN thE ROaD

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): i do what i want

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): when ever i want

treebranch: you're gonna get us killed

treebranch: im adding kim to this so if we all die someone knows its alya’s fault

 

[treebranch added kimforthewin to the chat]

 

kimforthewin: why

NatRat: me

kimforthewin: what

 

[treebranch sent a photo (screenshots of last chapter)]

 

treebranch: there are you filled in now

kimforthewin: no not really

kimforthewin: who is everyone

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): alya 

treebranch: nihoe 

kimforthewin: ok guessing thats nino 

MARIjuana: marinette

kimforthewin: marinette why

MARIjuana: #420life #drugzRkool #blazeit #high24/7

kimforthewin: i am appalled 

NatRat: nath 

QueenBeeChloexoxo: chloe 

kimforthewin: ew

QueenBeeChloexoxo: um what

NatRat: didn't you used to have a crush on her

kimforthewin: im a changed man

eggscared: more like changed for man amirite 

kimforthewin: who tf are you

eggscared: who tf are you

kimforthewin: i asked you first

eggscared: i asked you second 

MARIjuana: its adrien

 

[eggscared changed their name to eggbetrayed]

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ADRIEN ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING EGG NAMES THEY DONT MAKE ANY SENSE YOU FUCKING PIECE OF RAVIOLI  


eggbetrayed: that was a bit

eggbetrayed: egg-streme

 

[MARIjuana removed eggbetrayed from the conversation]

 

kimforthewin: what is happening 

treebranch: oh yeah kim isnt with us we have to fill him in

treebranch: but I'm lazy so someone else can fill him in

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ILL DO IT

QueenBeeChloexoxo: ALYA UR DRIVING NO

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): well then you do it

QueenBeeChloexoxo: ugh fine

QueenBeeChloexoxo: alya kidnapped us and is taking us on an “adventure”

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): that makes me sound like a pedophile pls rephrase 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): also its a road trip

treebranch: ALYA EYES ON THE ROAD

QueenBeeChloexoxo: alya is driving 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): hell yeah i am

treebranch: ALYA NO ONE WANTS TO DIE STOP TEXTING

NatRat: please keep texting and end my suffering 

kimforthewin: wow

QueenBeeChloexoxo: nino is shot gun

NatRat: shoot me with a gun

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ok nat idk where this attitude came from

NatRat: it came from being in the same car with you 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): wow ok

treebranch: ALYA

treebranch: THE ROAD

kimforthewin: this is a mess

QueenBeeChloexoxo: ANYWAY

QueenBeeChloexoxo: nath is in the back with all the stuff

NatRat: i want to jump out of this car

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): nat im giving you one more chance before i hit you

treebranch: ALYA IF YOU DoNT STOP TEXTInG I WILL THROW UR PHOnE OUT THE WINdoW

NatRat: throw me out along with it

QueenBeeChloexoxo: CAN YOU LET ME FUCKING FINISH

NatRat: sorry chloe

treebranch: sorry chloe

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): sorry chloe

kimforthewin: sorry chloe

QueenBeeChloexoxo: ok good

QueenBeeChloexoxo: and me mari and adrien are in the back seats

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ok last time I'm texting but can i just point out that mari is asleep on chloe’s shoulder drytfuygiuhoij

NatRat: rdtytfuygihoijo

treebranch: wait we forgot to add adrien back

QueenBeeChloexoxo: hes been complaining the whole time as well how did we forget 

NatRat: lmao whoops

 

[treebranch has added eggbetrayed to the chat]

 

eggbetrayed: ok im omelettin this one slide

 

[MARIjuana removed eggbetrayed from the chat]

 

treebranch: marinette woke up so fast that was scary 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chloe is the mum friend


	23. canon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what has my life come to

 

[10:42am] (still roadtripping)

 

treebranch: WTF

treebranch: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): IM

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): BYE

QueenBeeChloexoxo: i

kimforthewin: whats going on

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): how do i end my suffering 

NatRat: if i knew i would have already done it

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): nat i swear to god

kimforthewin: no one answered my question 

treebranch: how did we not see this coming

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): i was so blind

kimforthewin: WHAT IS GOING ON 

kimforthewin: I AM NOT THERE ROAD TRIPPING WITH YOU IF YOU FORGOT

eggbetrayed: roadtrippin’

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): adrien im still mad at you for not telling me, stop making jokes

kimforthewin: why isn't mari texting 

treebranch: she's asleep

kimforthewin: of course

NatRat: put me in eternal sleep

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): NAT IM GIVING YOU ONE MORE CHANCE OR ELSE

NatRat: or else what

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ILL MURDER YOU NEXT TIME

NatRat: why wait

kimforthewin: WHATS

kimforthewin: GOING  


kimforthewin: ON

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): adrien and marinette have been keeping a big secret from us

kimforthewin: sounds juicy, whats the secret

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ok so you'll not believe this but

kimforthewin: but what??

kimforthewin: girl don't keep me hanging

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): adrinette is canon!!!!!!!!!

NatRat: shoot me out of a cannon

kimforthewin: wtf how did they get together

QueenBeeChloexoxo: adrien wont tell us

kimforthewin: wtf why

eggbetrayed: bc im no snitch 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): that doesnt even make sense 

NatRat: life doesnt make sense 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): you know what nath, ur being a real downer rn

NatRat: hard to be happy when SOMEONE KIDNAPPED YOU TO GO ON A SHITTY ROADTRIP AND YOU HAVE TO SIT IN THE BOOT (a/n boot means trunk)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): …

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): touche

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i am back from the dead.  
> it was quite a nice trip in hell but a little bit too hot for my liking. ild still rate it 8/10, accomodation could be better.
> 
> anyway sorry this chapter is short i am currently having very painful cramps and want to Die™


	24. i give up on chapter titles.

 

 

[12:18pm]

 

MARIjuana: adrien i want to breakup 

 

[eggbetrayed changed their name to eggshocked]

 

eggshocked: but why 

eggshocked: what have i ever done wrong

MARIjuana: i have a list

MARIjuana: you threw my pillow out the window bc you got jealous of it

MARIjuana: asked my parents if they would make you weed brownies 

MARIjuana: make 54 cat puns in a row

MARIjuana: _54_

MARIjuana: made us stop the car so you could “admire the nature”

MARIjuana: you wouldn't stop saying “are we there yet” for 20 minutes 

MARIjuana: made us stop to pee at _every single starbucks we came across. do you know how many starbucks we saw_

MARIjuana: you wrote and read a speech about how much you love ladybug 

MARIjuana: read all of the road signs we passed out loud. _all of them_

MARIjuana: complained about being slightly too warm even tho its freezing and made nino turn the ac on

MARIjuana: and stole the aux cord to play kahoot music and wont turn it off

MARIjuana: and you managed to do all that in the last 30 minutes

 

[eggshocked changed their name to eggburnt]

 

eggburnt: love me

 

 

 


	25. spies assemble

 

[5:53pm]

 

treebranch: is alya asleep

QueenBeeChloexoxo: yeah i think 

treebranch: isn't she supposed to be driving the car

QueenBeeChloexoxo: ya lol

kimforthewin: i am so glad im not there with you

treebranch: we’re nearly back home now anyway

kimforthewin: damn kinda hoping you would die

treebranch: you know what kim

kimforthewin: what

treebranch: im gonna kill you

NatRat: kill me instead 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): i wont hesitate bitch

NatRat: wtf is that a knife alya

NatRat: brb im jumping out of the car

QueenBeeChloexoxo: hurry up and drive faster i need to check on my shoes

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): chloe

QueenBeeChloexoxo: what

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): they're just shoes

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): they aren’t going anywhere

QueenBeeChloexoxo: but i miss them

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): girl

treebranch: ALYA EYES ON THE ROAD

kimforthewin: wheres adrienette 

NatRat: sleeping 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°):***sleeping //together// :^)

eggburnt: what does that mean

treebranch: don't taint adriens innocence 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): so pure

treebranch: EYES

treebranch: ON

treebranch: THE   


treebranch: ROAD

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ok mum

treebranch: mummy

NatRat: im kinkshaming

MARIjuana: im awake what did i miss

QueenBeeChloexoxo: nothing really

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ew we’re stuck in traffic 

QueenBeeChloexoxo: how long will we be stuck

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): like half an hour

QueenBeeChloexoxo: MY SHOESS

kimforthewin: woah wtf

eggburnt: what

kimforthewin: theres an akuma

kimforthewin: damn this is wild

eggburnt: …

MARIjuana: brb

eggburnt: brb

NatRat: wtf where are they going 

QueenBeeChloexoxo: should we follow them??

treebranch: oh hell yeah

treebranch: we can be spies 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): oooh we should get code names 

QueenBeeCholexoxo: hell yeah I'm Queen Bee 600

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): oo im Foxy Mama 

treebranch: I'm

treebranch: DJ COOL

NatRat: im not doing it

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): may i remind you that i have a knife

NatRat: OKAY GUESS IM T.B 2.0

NatRat: T.B stands for tomato boy

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): Queen Bee 600, DJ COOL, and T.B 2.0. LETS DO THIS BINCHES

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sniffs air* whats that i smell?  
> smells like  
> an identity reveal


	26. adios

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a shit storm and idk how to fix it

 

[6.00pm]

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): follow my lead

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) changed their name to FoxyMama]

 

treebranch: copy

 

[treebranch changed their name to DJCOOL]

 

[NatRat changed their name to endmysuffering]

 

NatRat: whoops i mean

 

[NatRat changed their name to T.B.2.0]

 

[QueenBeeChloexoxo changed their name to QueenBee600]

 

QueenBee600: aww my username didn't even change that much

FoxyMama: Chloe no time for self pity, we’re spies now

QueenBee600: thats Queen Bee 600 to you

T.B.2.0: wait

FoxyMama: what

T.B.2.0: are we just gonna leave the car in the middle of the road

FoxyMama: oh shit i forgot about that 

DJCOOL: how do we move it we’re stuck in traffic 

QueenBee600: we can get a private helicopter to tow and fly it away

FoxyMama: …

FoxyMama: forgot you were rich lol

DJCOOL: ok but i doubt a helicopter is gonna come tow the car away in the middle of an akuma attack

QueenBee600: damnit

T.B.2.0: guys it doesnt even matter anymore the akuma exploded the car

FoxyMama: shit good thing we left the car before

FoxyMama: anyway

FoxyMama: which direction did adrienette go

DJCOOL: left

T.B.2.0: right

QueenBee600: forwards

FoxyMama: ur all no help

FoxyMama: i think i saw them running to that alley way lets go

DJCOOL: gotta go fast

kimforthewin: whats going on

QueenBee600: what is kim still doing here

QueenBee600: like no offence your irrelevant now

FoxyMama: true

kimforthewin: ouch

kimforthewin: why cant i stay

DJCOOL: ur not apart of out group

DJCOOL: we’re very elite 

T.B.2.0: i agree

QueenBee600: bye kim

 

[QueenBee600 removed kimforthewin from the chat]

 

QueenBee600: he didn't even have a spy name

FoxyMama: NOW BACK TO FINDING ADRIENETTE

DJCOOL: they're not in the alley 

T.B.2.0: lets ask ladybug and chat noir

FoxyMama: how do we get them to appear??  


QueenBee600: legend has it that if you say My Lady three times, chat noir will appear and give you a speech on how much he loves ladybug 

FoxyMama: lets try it

DJCOOL: My Lady

DJCOOL: My Lady

DJCOOL: My Lady

 

DJCOOL: …

DJCOOL: guess it didn't work

shitnoir: I 

shitnoir: LOVE

shitnoir: LADYBUG

shitnoir: SO MUCH

DJCOOL: nvm

shitnoir: shes the love of my life

shitnoir: my will to live

shitnoir: her eyes hold the purest of diamonds 

shitnoir: her hair is made out of moonlight

shitnoir: her smile is worth a thousand suns

shitnoir: she has elegance that makes ballerinas sigh of envy 

shitnoir: she holds my heart in her delicate fingers

shitnoir: she

marinetteshitimeanladybug: okay chat thats enough

shitnoir: BUGINETTE I LOVE YOU

marinetteshitimeanladybug: yes chat i am well aware. i love you too

FoxyMama: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

shitnoir: marry me

marinetteshitimeanladybug: ur like 12

shitnoir: EXCUSE YOU I AM VERY MUCH A MAN I JUST TURNED 17

DJCOOL: sorry to interrupt ur convo dudes but we kinda need ur help

shitnoir: yeah sure

marinetteshitimeanladybug: what do you need

QueenBee600: we lost our friends marinette and adrien

FoxyMama: know where they are?

shitnoir: well

shitnoir: um

marinetteshitimeanladybug: wellwouldyoulookatthatTIMETOLEAVEBYE

 

[marinetteshitimeanladybug left the chat]

 

shitnoir: ADIOS

 

[shitnoir left the chat]

 

DJCOOL: that was weird..

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everything will be back to normal soon dw


	27. nighty night

 

[11:43pm]

 

FoxyMama: oo cleansing ladybug light 

FoxyMama: yay the car is back

eggburnt: so i am

DJCOOL: mysterious 

MARIjuana: hello i have arrived 

QueenBee600: where did u guys go

eggburnt: um

MARIjuana: doing.. things

FoxyMama: more like doing each other amirite 

DJCOOL: heyooo

MARIjuana: ANYWAY

MARIjuana: i want a spy name

QueenBee600: oh rite u were away for that

 

[eggburnt changed their name to spydrien]

 

[MARIjuana changed their name to ladybugshitimeanmarinette]

 

[DJCOOL changed the chat name to The Spies]

 

FoxyMama: mari thats cheating that was your original name

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: i couldnt think of one and i panicked 

FoxyMama: fair enough

T.B.2.0: is everyone just gonna ignore that adrien and marinette went missing for 5 hours

DJCOOL: yep

QueenBee600: what else are we meant to do??

T.B.2.0: ANYTHING BUT THAT

spydrien: shhh nath its late. go to sleep

QueenBee600: actually everyone go to sleep we have school tomorrow.

spydrien: #chloeisthemumfriendconfirmed

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: #confirmed

QueenBee600: SLEEP

FoxyMama: goodnight

DJCOOL: sleep tight

spydrien: DONT LET UR FACE BITE HEYYYOOOOO

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: _goodnight adrien_

spydrien:…night

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a tumblr if you wanna send requests for this story or just anything in general!! :)  
> its: www.phoebehasproblems.tumblr.com


	28. sex ed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where adrien gets some sex (ed.)

[Monday, 9:34am]

 

QueenBee600: class is so boring does anyone wanna back to the park 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: aight

FoxyMama: hold on girl wait for me

 

spydrien: wtf how did they all get to leave like that

spydrien: all they said was that they needed to go to the toilet 

DJCOOL: bro

DJCOOL: its cause they're girls

spydrien: ?

DJCOOL: they have

DJCOOL: ,,periods,

spydrien: what is that

DJCOOL: its where,, they bleed

DJCOOL: out of

DJCOOL: their

 

DJCOOL: _parts_

 

spydrien: OMF T HEY BLEEDD OUT OF THEI R BOOB S

DJCOOL: dude,, no

DJCOOL: they bleed out of their.,

 

DJCOOL: _other parts_

 

spydrien: OMFGHJ THATS WORSE D

spydrien: THEYR E DYINGG NINO!!@@!!!

spydrien: I DONT WA NT THEM TO DIE

spydrien: NINOO WE HAVE TO HEL P THEM

DJCOOL: ur too pure dude

DJCOOL: too pure

T.B.2.0: u need help.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> adrien needs sum education


	29. IDENTITY REVEAL?? ***NOT CLICKBAIT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where EVERYONE IS OBLIVIOUS

[same day, 10:02am]

 

DJCOOL: girls come back the teacher has an announcement 

FoxyMama: nah we cant be bothered just text it to us

DJCOOL: nah i dont want to 

T.B.2.0: same

spydrien: ill do it

DJCOOL: bless

spydrien: mlle bustier said that theres a project 

spydrien: she hasn't said what its on yet

spydrien: she's talking about how its 70% of our grade

spydrien: she still hasn't announced what its on yet

spydrien: she might not even say it

spydrien: wait nvm she just said what its on

spydrien: that was a lot of suspense lol

QueenBee600: …

QueenBee600: are you not going to tell us what the projects on?????

spydrien: oh right

spydrien: its on chat noir and ladybug

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: a project on me this should be easy

FoxyMama: what

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: ***********************a project on ladybug hahaha lol

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: autocorrect amirite 

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: why would the project be on me

ladybugshitmeanmarinette: that would only make sense if I'm ladybug

ladybugshitimeanmarientte: which I'm not ahahahah

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: im clearly marinette lol

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: definitely not ladybug 

ladybugshitimeanmainette: 100%

FoxyMama: girl chill we already know ladybug is adrien

spydrien: wait what

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mistake: made  
> group: oblivious  
> identity: saved
> 
> i forcibly move my problems onto adrien


	30. adrien is #offended

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where adrien gets burnt

  


[monday, 7:30pm]

  


spydrien: are we just gonna ignore how alya thinks I’m ladybug?

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: yes

spydrien: wow ok

spydrien: i thought u loved me 

ladybugshitmeanmarinette: i love you, but i love annoying more

spydrien: meOUCH

spydrien: _you wound me my lady_

ladybugshitmeanmarinette: shut up you actual piece of bread

spydrien: if I'm the bread then ur the spread ;)))

  


[ladybugshitmeanmarinette removed spydrien from the conversation]

  


[FoxyMama added spydrien to the chat]

  


FoxyMama: who even is adrien

FoxyMama: one minute he's all innocent and pure

FoxyMama: and then the next minute he's all flirty and full of s i n

FoxyMama: acting like… _chat noir_

FoxyMama: that can only mean one thing

FoxyMama: adrien is ladybug

spydrien: HOW 

spydrien: HOW DO YOU GET IM LADYBUG FROM THAT

DJCOOL: face it dude

DJCOOL: we all know your secret

spydrien: not you too nino

QueenBee600: i dont thing you're ladybug 

spydrien: THANK YOU

QueenBee600: you're too dumb to be her

spydrien: _excuse me_

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shout out to TripleRainbow for calling me an actual piece of bread x


	31. christmas eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where adrien gets roasted (again)

 

[christmas eve, 2:04pm]

 

FoxyMama: yo

spydrien: i never fucked wayne i never fucked drake

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: on my life man 

DJCOOL: fucks sake

FoxyMama: when the squad synchronises <3 <3 <3

DJCOOL: merry christmas eve here’s an early christmas present [https://open.spotify.com/user/ninohassickbeats/playlist/5e20Z90KerPjUX62qUqGsc](https://open.spotify.com/user/phoebealexandra/playlist/5e20Z90KerPjUX62qUqGsc)

FoxyMama: this

FoxyMama: this is just your spotify playlist

DJCOOL: its a gift from the heavens

ladybugshitimeanmarinette: its a gift from your ass

DJCOOL: shut up marinade

 

[ladybugshitimeanmarinette changed their name to marinade]

 

spydrien: i think the playlist is

spydrien: playlit

 

[marinade removed spydrien from the chat]

 

FoxyMama: im not even gonna add him back that was horrible

DJCOOL: my eyes burn 

DJCOOL: his pun has blinded me bc thats how bad it was

marinade: now you know how i feel everyday 

FoxyMama: honestly girl idek why you date him sometimes

marinade: same

T.B.2.0: has this chat turned into just roasting adrien bc I'm down

marinade: wait guys

marinade: i feel bad talking shit about him behind his back

 

[marinade added spydrien to the chat]

 

marinade: we should do it to his face :)))

 

[T.B.2.0 change the group name to #roastadrien2k16]

 

spydrien: whats going on

FoxyMama: the end of ur career 

DJCOOL: #AdrienAgresteIsOverParty

spydrien: ;(((((((

marinade: why is it winking 

spydrien: bc why not ;))

marinade: oh god

spydrien: ;))))

spydrien: pls love me i feed off affection 

DJCOOL: adrien is a cat confirmed 

FoxyMama: hmmmm suspicious

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya girls realising some shit


	32. ahaha whats a chapter??  (◕◡◕✿)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a summary?? i dont believe in those (◕◡◕✿)

 

[monday, 8:00am]

 

spydrien: mari christmas

 

[marinade removed spydrien from the chat]

 

[spydrien added himself to the chat bc he aint no punk ass bitch]

 

spydrien: m a r i c h r i s t m a s

marinade: HOW TF DID YOU ADD YOURSELF BACK TO THE CHAT

spydrien: christmas magic 

marinade: CHRISTMAS WAS OVER A WEEK AGO

spydrien: WELL I JUST THOUGHT OF THE PUN JUST THEN

marinade: why cant i escape your puns

spydrien: bc we were meant to be

spydrien: and its not like i chase you around with them

marinade: YOU CHASED ME AROUND THE ROOFTOPS LAST NIGHT WITH YOUR PUNS 

spydrien: WELL YOU PUSHED ME OFF THE EIFFEL TOWER 

marinade: YOU DESERVED IT

DJCOOL: wait wtf

DJCOOL: YOU PUSHED ADRIEN OFF THE EIFFEL TOWER!?!?!??!

marinade: hahhahah what, i never did that haha you're crazy lol

T.B.2.0: …you just confirmed it three messages ago

marinade: confirmed it?? haha what, i would never confirm something i never did (◕◡◕✿)

T.B.2.0: but adrien literally said you pushed him off the eiffel tower

marinade: adrien?? i dont know him (◕◡◕✿) haha what is an eiffel tower, never heard of it lol

T.B.2.0: marienette you're an idiot, i have screen shots 

marinade: you shot your screen?? maybe you're the idiot ahah (◕◡◕✿)

T.B.2.0: …

marinade: (◕◡◕✿)

T.B.2.0: …..

marinade: (◕◡◕✿)

T.B.2.0: ..

 

marinade: (0ᴗ0✿)

 

T.B.2.0: haha what was i talking about?? i gtg byeee (◕ っ ◕✿)

spydrien: BUT I NEED JUSTICE  


 

marinade: (0ᴗ0✿)

 

spydrien: i got pushed off the eiffel tower?? haha thats crazy, i don't even live in paris (^◕ﻌ◕✿^)

DJCOOL: ,,dude,,,youve lived in paris your whole life

 

spydrien: (^0 ﻌ O✿^)

 

marinade: (0◡0✿)

 

DJCOOL: haha whats paris?? sounds tasty lol(◕▿◕✿)

FoxyMama: i stay off my phone for 5 minutes and everyone gets possessed 

 

marinade: (0◡0✿)

 

spydrien: (^0 ﻌ O✿^)

 

DJCOOL: (0▿0✿)

 

FoxyMama: only the devil possesses (◕ ワ ◕✿)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> +ﾟ*｡:ﾟ+凸(◕‿◕✿)+ﾟ*｡:ﾟ+


	33. new year new me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where they change.

 

[wednesday, 9:56am]

 

QueenBee600: i slept in, did anyone miss me. xxx

DJCOOL: sabrina

spydrien: sabrina

FoxyMama: sabrina

marinade: sabrina

QueenBee600: we’re still waiting for nathaneals input, someone else could have missed me.

marinade: i dont mean to sound rude but chloe wtf why r u talking so proper

QueenBee600: new years resolution.

DJCOOL: no offence marinette but you should do the same

marinade: wtf fite me

FoxyMama: girl you talk like a 10 year old who just learnt how to text 

marinade: alya i thought u were my friend :((

marinade: well if i have to be more proper, nino has to stop using excessive commas 

DJCOOL: mari,, my friend,,

DJCOOL: you dont,,

DJCOOL: ,,,understand

marinade: …

DJCOOL: fine, ill use _significantly less_ commas if adrien stops saying puns

spydrien:  **_N I N O_ **

FoxyMama: i think i just heard adrien’s heart break

FoxyMama: nino buddy you better fix that

DJCOOL: did you just,,

DJCOOL: _buddyzone me_

FoxyMama: we’ve been dating since the end of _troisième_

spydrien: ill tone down on my puns if alya stops being mean to me

FoxyMama: wtf im not mean to you banana boy

 

[spydrien changed their name to bananaboy]

 

bananaboy: living proof

FoxyMama: ugh fine ill _try_ to be nicer 

bananaboy: :’)

marinade: i never thought i would say this but,

marinade: did chloe just inspire us to become better people

FoxyMama: …damn

bananaboy: she inspired us to _bee_ better

marinade: _adrien_

bananaboy: ok i _bee_ live i said i would pun less, not that i would stop them completely

FoxyMama: adrien, i will not hesitate to kill you the next time i see you

bananaboy: well, i guess thats my call to _buzz_ off

marinade: are you going to leave the conversation or??

bananaboy: meowch

marinade: _mon minou, if you don't shut the fuck up with the puns it wont be alya killing you._

FoxyMama: back at it again with the cat puns,  _mon minou_ . things are getting awfully suspicious

bananaboy: …

bananaboy: are we just going ignore how marinette threatened to kill me

DJCOOL: you had it coming dude

bananaboy: nino, this is the second time you have broken my heart this morning. why must you do this to me

 

[DJCOOL changed their name to heartbreaker]

 

heartbreaker: its just who i am

FoxyMama: yeah, the other day nino completely destroyed that little girls heart. why didn't you let her play games on your phone nino?

heartbreaker: you're cruel alya

FoxyMama: _its just who i am_

bananaboy: you're like a disney villain, pure evil

 

[FoxyMama changed their name to CrualyaDeVil]

 

marinade: STTOP WITH THHE FUCKING PUNSS LET ME LIIVE MY LIF E INP E A C E

CrualyaDeVil: marinette, i thought you were going to be more proper

 

[marinade change their name to mlle.dupain-cheng]

 

mlle.dupain-cheng: may you refrain from using bothersome world play which would allow myself to continuing living free from disturbance.

bananaboy: mari you're like that one meme now

mlle.dupain-cheng: cant escape the memes

mlle.dupain-cheng: adrien if you say a pun

bananaboy: :(

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was gonna upload last night but ao3 crashed ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> thank you all for every comment and kudos, it means a lot :) xx


	34. adrien the innocent child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where adrien becomes a man

 

[thursday, 1:54pm]

 

heartbreaker: hey wheres adrienette?? lunch ended five minutes ago

CrualyaDeVil: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

heartbreaker: alya NO

CrualyaDeVil: ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)*:･ﾟ✧

heartbreaker: …

CrualyaDeVil: oh come on we all know they're doing the do in some empty classroom 

bananaboy: whats doing the do?

CrualyaDeVil: …sex

bananaboy: whats sex

heartbreaker: oh my sweet summer child, so unblemished,,, so pure,

mlle.dupain-cheng: we weren't having sex alya

CrualyaDeVil: ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

mlle.dupain-cheng: ALYA  


CrualyaDeVil: hahahaha im just messing with you. besides, we all know adrien is too innocent to do anything that scandalous.

bananaboy: hey thats not true! 

heartbreaker: you don't even know what sex is

bananaboy: theres nothing wrong with that, i am only a child

mlle.dupain-cheng: you're 17.

bananaboy: you're right. I'm not a child. I'm a man

heartbreaker: oh god

bananaboy: a very not innocent man

bananaboy: im full off sin you know

bananaboy: im a sour winter man not a sweet summer child

bananaboy: im so full off sin everyone calls me satan

bananaboy: i was born a man

bananaboy: i skipped childhood

bananaboy: ill have you know that i watched the first 8 minutes of Up and i only cried for 20 minutes

bananaboy: i can now open jam jars without nathalie’s help

bananaboy: i can fight anyone (ง'̀-'́)ง

CrualyaDeVil: ok banana boy

 

[bananaboy changed their name to bananaMAN]

 

bananaMAN: (ง’̀-‘́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง

heartbreaker: look what you've done 

bananaMAN: (ง’̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง

heartbreaker: WHAT DID I EVER DO

bananaMAN: you called me a _sweet summer child_ (ง’̀-‘́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง

mlle.dupain-cheng: nino don't worry he's just being irrational

bananaMAN: say that to my face instead of hiding behind your phone screen

mlle.dupain-cheng: adrien you’re sitting right next to me. you would know that if you werent glaring so hard at that pigeon

bananaMAN: its up to something. i can feel it

mlle.dupain-cheng: the only thing you're feeling is your feather allergies

heartbreaker: BRUTAL

bananaMAN: (ง’̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can request scenes at my tumblr (www.phoebehasproblems.tumblr.com/ask)  
> xxx


	35. a/n

just.letting.you.know.that.my.space.bar.broke.so.i.wont.be.updating.for.a.few.days.  
peace  
-phoebe


End file.
